30 Angst Bunnies
by Valie
Summary: -For the 30 angsts LJ comm- Thirty separate chapter/fics involving one Momiji Sohma. All angsty in some form or another. Come in and read more about the sad, angst bunny! Please? -Momiji- -Angst- More info inside.
1. It Ended Before It Started

**A/N:** In the fashion of my iCarly 30 theme (kiss) fics, I present you, reader, with a collection of 30 theme fics involving one Momiji Sohma. Each chapter will be angsty because these are for Livejournal's 30_angsts comm. Why did I choose Momiji for this task? /hugs/ Because he's my sad, angst bunny! x3 I love the little guy sooo much. :\ But I do realize that he has a seriously screwed up life despite his sunny disposition and it totally breaks my heart. So in the following chapters, I'm going to explore his carefully hid angst. There will be heavy and dark themes ahead, so I hope people will still read. :3 It'll make Momiji uberly happy, you know.

**Characters:** Momiji

**Prompt:** #24 - Blush (no future)

**Genres/Warnings:** Gen fic. Angst. Drabble.

**Word count:** 176

**Summary:** Momiji's life was fated from the day he was born.

--

**It Ended Before It Started**

From the day he had been born, Momiji Sohma's life had been condemned. When his mother hugged her beautiful blond haired baby boy shortly after his birth, Momiji's future transformed. Every hope and aspiration Momiji's parents had for him, vanished in that single moment. The blonde boy, as he got older, began to realize his bleak future. When his mother forgot him, Momiji realized he no longer had a future. He pretended not to notice. Not to care when Momo was born.

It killed him and he allowed Akito to convince him further that there was no chance for a change. It was impossible. Unattainable.

Then he met Tohru for the first time at the school festival. Her beauty, innocence, and carefully hid sorrow, so like his own, made him blush as he realized something. For the first time in his young, short life a sense of clarity overcame Momiji. There suddenly seemed like endless possibilities and his bleak future opened up. There was a chance for a future after all. Akito had been wrong.

**-End-**


	2. Lost Memories

**A/N:** I probably should point out real quick that different chapters will be of different lengths (so expect drabbles right along with a 1,000+ chapters), as well that, unless stated otherwise, none of these chapters connect. I'm only combining them into this one multi-chaptered fic because of any possible vast differences in length between the chapters and of course, they are part of one overall theme (angst). Also, I really wanted to use the title '30 Angst Bunnies'. ._.;;

**Extra notes:** This chapter made me cry. A lot. I'm a bit of a softy, I'll admit, but I rarely write stuff that makes me cry. So read the warnings below before proceeding. (Warnings will appear whenever I see a need for them.) Also, _'Ich liebe dich'_ means _'I love you'_ in German.

**Characters:** Momiji, Momiji's mother

**Prompt:** #21 - Lost memories

**Genres/Warnings:** Gen fic. Heavy angst involving thoughts of death, hate, and loss. Drabble.

**Word count:** 360

**Summary:** Momiji's mother loved him, really she did. But it's so hard to love someone who you can't hug.

---

**Lost Memories**

Momiji had been very young when his mother had tried to raise him. She was a beautiful and loving person who was always kind to him. He didn't know until later, how she would break down in tears after he had fallen asleep at night. How she thought of her son as a monstrosity and wondered if it would be better to kill the small boy. Momiji hadn't known how many times his life had almost been ended by his mother's hands. If he hadn't been such a bright and adorable child, the guilt might have been lessen somehow. As it was, when Momiji's large brown eyes turned to his mother, the guilt of her thoughts crashed down on her and she would hug herself to keep from hugging him and repeating her cycle of hatred for him.

Momiji loved his mother greatly, even after he had learned all these terrible things about that she had thought about. He understood her fear, especially once he overheard her pleas to forget and her reasons why.

That final night before her memories were erased, Momiji's mother tucked him into bed and kissed him goodnight for the last time; her face a mask of carefully hidden grief and lies. Her eyes were tired and dull as she forced herself to smile. She was sick with her grief and her decision. If Momiji hadn't been born a Sohma, she wouldn't have this problem, she thought to herself for the hundredth time.

The blond haired child placed his pudgy little hand on his mother's, squeezing it gently. All the while trying to keep up his own facade so his mother wouldn't know that he was acknowledging her decision. He smiled bright and honest at his mother.

"_Ich liebe dich_, mama." He said, because he needed his mother to know it, even if she wouldn't remember it come tomorrow night. This was his last chance to let his mother know that he would be okay and that he would always love her.

Even though he was going to be alone.

Even though his mother wouldn't remember him as her child.

Even though he would always remember.

**-End-**


	3. The Boy With Black Eyes

**A/N:** Finally, a ficlet! I wasn't sure which prompt to write about next, so I kind of stared at them and the prompt 'Black roses' kept jumping out at me, so I went with it. I've only read the manga version of Furuba, so this is manga!Akito (any Akito mentioned in any of these chapters is manga!Akito, btw). _Side note_ - _'Shinto'_ is the sliding doors you commonly see in Japanese homes.

**Characters:** Momiji, Akito

**Prompt:** #23 - Black roses

**Genres/Warnings:** Gen fic. Angst, mild violence toward a child. Ficlet.

**Word count:** 697

**Summary:** Momiji remembers his first encounter with Akito, vividly.

---

**The Boy with Black Eyes**

Momiji remembers clearly the first time he met Akito. He was three, playing alone in a sandbox in the backyard. He could hear rising voices from the house, but he found his exploits in the sand much more interesting. The shinto to the backyard slid open and out stepped a person he never saw before, at least not one that he could remember ever seeing. It was an older boy - thirteen or so, with short black hair and eyes so black Momiji could feel himself drown in them. He was afraid of the boy with the dark eyes.

Silently the two watched each other as the boy approached closer. A tinge of fear gripped the younger boy, making him scramble up to his feet and quickly hiding behind a nearby tree to escape the drowning eyes. A chuckle met his ears and he risked a peek out from behind the tree to see the boy had stopped at the edge of the sandbox. Even the laugh seemed kind of scaring to him, but Momiji braved himself enough to keep watching to see what the boy would do. The chuckled died down abruptly and with with an almost angry glare, the boy beckoned Momiji to him.

"Come here, rabbit." He said.

Even though he was afraid and would have rather ran away, he found his tiny legs moving him to the boy. It was a pull as if the boy had a string on him and was pulling him forward. The closer he got, Momiji noticed a peculiar scent emanating from the boy. What it was, he didn't know, but it was kind of nice - like a flower. When he had reached the opposite end of the sandbox, his legs stopped moving and seemed to lock in place. Momiji was terrified and curious all at the same time.

"Do you know who I am?"

Momiji shook his head.

"I'm your master. Do you understand?"

Another shake of the head.

"Oh you will, rabbit, you will." The boy said, his words icy.

"I'm Momiji." Momiji said finally, feeling as if he should say something.

"No, you are the rabbit. You have no name as far as I'm concerned."

Something about the tone of his voice made Momiji wet himself as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Good, you fear me. I said you would learn."

"You bad." Momiji whimpered.

The boy moved almost absently around the sandbox, his feet bare against the grass as he came to a stop in front of the younger boy. Momiji didn't see when the boy's hand moved, memorized by the dark eyes that were trying to suck him in. He did, however, feel the contact and sting of the slap, surprising him and knocking him over. Momiji stared up with wide surprised eyes as his lip quivered.

"You will respect me! You will not speak lies about me!" The boy shouted, intensely angry. "Do you understand?"

The younger boy burst into tears as he shook his head in understanding, rubbing his hurt cheek.

"You're a fast learner. I like that. You'll do well, rabbit."

Turning, the boy walked away, going back into the house. Over his crying, Momiji couldn't hear the parting words of the boy to his parents, nor did he care to. He was afraid of the boy with the dark eyes and the flower smell. His father was the one who came out after several moments and scooped up the still crying boy up, hugging him closely. His mother gasped as Momiji's father carried him into the house and set him on the dining room table. As his mother rushed out of the room to get a cool compress for his cheek, Momiji sniffled as he noticed flowers in a vase on the table. So close, they smelled like the older boy and he pointed at them, looking at his father.

"Bad." He hiccuped through his tears.

"No, those are roses." His father informed him.

Years later, when Momiji found a bunch of black roses growing in the Sohma complex, he remembered his first encounter with Akito. From that moment on, he secretly dubbed Akito the 'Black Rose'.

**-End-**


End file.
